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Instagram post's of @500daysofsingle

"I just can't understand how some people don't appreciate a good opera""There are so few people who have a real interest in contemporary art""It's a shame there's such limited involvement in horticulture"If only my millionaire husband could enroll me in a culture class so I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of our high class guests. I too would take 10 years to write a book about petroselinum crispum if I didn't have to worry about plebian issues like finding a job or putting food on the table. One day I hope to be able to experience the sense of superiority that comes from looking down on people who don't share my esoteric interests because they're too self absorbed with making ends meet in today's increasingly unequal world#patronofthearts
30 likes 6

"I just can't understand how some people don't appreciate a good opera" "There are so few people who have a real interest in contemporary art" "It's a shame there's such limited involvement in horticulture" If only my millionaire husband could enroll me in a culture class so I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of our high class guests. I too would take 10 years to write a book about petroselinum crispum if I didn't have to worry about plebian issues like finding a job or putting food on the table. One day I hope to be able to experience the sense of superiority that comes from looking down on people who don't share my esoteric interests because they're too self absorbed with making ends meet in today's increasingly unequal world #patronofthearts

July 2018
📥☑ #overheardnewyork
52 likes 0
February 2018
Do you like traveling, because I like traveling. In fact, the only thing I like more than traveling is telling people how much I travel. Did I mention I have a travel blog? It's exactly what you think it is, conceited photos of myself in front of monuments whose cultural significance I'm not even aware of. Let's be real though, I didn't spend a couple hundred on flights just to get here and NOT take a selfie. Maybe I should make a scrapbook, to show my kids or something one day. But that's just not going to boost my ego as much as a tagged Instagram story will. At the end of the day it's really all about saying you've been there. And I'll be damned if I forget to take the selfie to prove I was #picsoritdidnthappen
29 likes 6

Do you like traveling, because I like traveling. In fact, the only thing I like more than traveling is telling people how much I travel. Did I mention I have a travel blog? It's exactly what you think it is, conceited photos of myself in front of monuments whose cultural significance I'm not even aware of. Let's be real though, I didn't spend a couple hundred on flights just to get here and NOT take a selfie. Maybe I should make a scrapbook, to show my kids or something one day. But that's just not going to boost my ego as much as a tagged Instagram story will. At the end of the day it's really all about saying you've been there. And I'll be damned if I forget to take the selfie to prove I was #picsoritdidnthappen

June 2017
Future: "Can I copy your homework?" Junior M.A.F.I.A. "Yeah just change it up a bit so it doesn't look obvious you copied"
13 likes 0

Future: "Can I copy your homework?" Junior M.A.F.I.A. "Yeah just change it up a bit so it doesn't look obvious you copied"

June 2017
Which one are you?
25 likes 3

Which one are you?

June 2017
When you spend so long taking the perfect food picture that your food gets cold. Not to mention you haven't even tried it yet, so how do you know it's #delicious?
8 likes 0

When you spend so long taking the perfect food picture that your food gets cold. Not to mention you haven't even tried it yet, so how do you know it's #delicious?

June 2017
When you're in the same shit class and you're having a circular discussion casually dropping the same terms every class does like opportunity cost, incentives, business as usual, and sustainability but you realize that this isn't going anywhere and you're not getting any closer to achieving the goal that made you pursue this education in the first place so you're just wasting time on Instagram and feeling guilty because you know your parents are dropping stacks for you to be here so you know you should be paying attention but at the end of the day you just know that taking notes isn't going to change the conversation let alone stop the petrol industry
7 likes 0

When you're in the same shit class and you're having a circular discussion casually dropping the same terms every class does like opportunity cost, incentives, business as usual, and sustainability but you realize that this isn't going anywhere and you're not getting any closer to achieving the goal that made you pursue this education in the first place so you're just wasting time on Instagram and feeling guilty because you know your parents are dropping stacks for you to be here so you know you should be paying attention but at the end of the day you just know that taking notes isn't going to change the conversation let alone stop the petrol industry

May 2017
I work out to make up for my lack of personality. I take protein to make up for my lack of muscle. I get with ugly girls to make up for my lack of self-confidence. I'm kinda the shit #humblebrag
20 likes 4

I work out to make up for my lack of personality. I take protein to make up for my lack of muscle. I get with ugly girls to make up for my lack of self-confidence. I'm kinda the shit #humblebrag

May 2017
Hi everyone, I'm Miranda, today I want to talk about contouring and give a little mini tutorial on this beauty blog. Some of you might think that some of us are naturally pretty, but I'm here to crush that belief and replace it with a much bigger insecurity: no one can love the real you so bring on the makeup. You girls need to empty your purses on colored eyelid powder and spend hours in the mirror before you can leave the house. It's okay, after the fact you can try to justify it to yourself that you're just presenting a better version of yourself. Ahem, "enhancing your natural features" if you will. And guys, get over yourselves, we don't care about impressing you as much as we care about keeping up with other girls. Anyway while you're busy applying your 100th coat of foundation this is good time to remember that you don't want to cake it on. These days it's all about a natural look, which is why we're using makeup to make it look like you're not wearing makeup. Next time I'll show you all the Gucci and Louis I got from my Forever21 haul #cakeface #natural
14 likes 3

Hi everyone, I'm Miranda, today I want to talk about contouring and give a little mini tutorial on this beauty blog. Some of you might think that some of us are naturally pretty, but I'm here to crush that belief and replace it with a much bigger insecurity: no one can love the real you so bring on the makeup. You girls need to empty your purses on colored eyelid powder and spend hours in the mirror before you can leave the house. It's okay, after the fact you can try to justify it to yourself that you're just presenting a better version of yourself. Ahem, "enhancing your natural features" if you will. And guys, get over yourselves, we don't care about impressing you as much as we care about keeping up with other girls. Anyway while you're busy applying your 100th coat of foundation this is good time to remember that you don't want to cake it on. These days it's all about a natural look, which is why we're using makeup to make it look like you're not wearing makeup. Next time I'll show you all the Gucci and Louis I got from my Forever21 haul #cakeface #natural

May 2017
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE RAN OUT OF MEMES!?
4 likes 0

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE RAN OUT OF MEMES!?

May 2017
500daysofsingle 's post in instagram at Thu, 27 Apr 2017
10 likes 2
April 2017
Why is it that whenever someone insists on being a low key athlete it's always for some obscure sport like bocce ball or quidditch? You'll never meet a guy who says he's a casual baseball player. Those guys will just claim to be the best or tell you about how much they're training, but it's the random dude who doesn't even work out who's so eager to tell you what an avid hide-and-go-seek player he is. You've known this guy for about a year and he's not even necessarily out of shape, but you can tell he's never been to the gym. Then all of the sudden one day it happens to come up in conversation that he used to be a world class climber. As the conversation continues you discover he's never even touched a real rock, but his gym climbing is supposedly unparalleled. You could subtly mention there's a gym nearby that charges €50 for a 6 month pass, but he refuses to go. If anything it only serves as a segue for how it's too expensive and not nearly as good as the pallets of milk crates he used to scale as a kid because it was all he had. At this point you're just looking at his ambiguous physique thinking it could be possible, but you want to see it to believe it. Next time you're at the bar he'll find that that's a good time to mention he also throws a bulls eye everytime. It's a just a shame he can't play today since his wrist hurts from signing all his sponsorship contracts. It's curious how he's only done sports that no one knows enough about to blatantly disprove any of his claims
7 likes 1

Why is it that whenever someone insists on being a low key athlete it's always for some obscure sport like bocce ball or quidditch? You'll never meet a guy who says he's a casual baseball player. Those guys will just claim to be the best or tell you about how much they're training, but it's the random dude who doesn't even work out who's so eager to tell you what an avid hide-and-go-seek player he is. You've known this guy for about a year and he's not even necessarily out of shape, but you can tell he's never been to the gym. Then all of the sudden one day it happens to come up in conversation that he used to be a world class climber. As the conversation continues you discover he's never even touched a real rock, but his gym climbing is supposedly unparalleled. You could subtly mention there's a gym nearby that charges €50 for a 6 month pass, but he refuses to go. If anything it only serves as a segue for how it's too expensive and not nearly as good as the pallets of milk crates he used to scale as a kid because it was all he had. At this point you're just looking at his ambiguous physique thinking it could be possible, but you want to see it to believe it. Next time you're at the bar he'll find that that's a good time to mention he also throws a bulls eye everytime. It's a just a shame he can't play today since his wrist hurts from signing all his sponsorship contracts. It's curious how he's only done sports that no one knows enough about to blatantly disprove any of his claims

April 2017
Turning on your phone and forgetting why is the new walking into the kitchen and forgetting what you needed #millenialattentionspan #iswearihearditring #imsureigotatext
4 likes 0

Turning on your phone and forgetting why is the new walking into the kitchen and forgetting what you needed #millenialattentionspan #iswearihearditring #imsureigotatext

April 2017
When you wear a dope outfit but no one important saw you today. Just post it to Instagram so people know you have style
9 likes 2

When you wear a dope outfit but no one important saw you today. Just post it to Instagram so people know you have style

April 2017
All these new followers really seem to be in line with my target demographic!
4 likes 0

All these new followers really seem to be in line with my target demographic!

March 2017
Can we all agree that finishing a bottle of wine, jar of Nutella, or pint of ice cream in one sitting isn't a big deal? At this point they might as well just state that that's the recommended serving size. Stop acting like you committed a cardinal sin for doing something that might as well be the norm. It's past cliche. If you have to tell someone that you're "so bad" because you just guzzled a small child's weight in drive through meals, it only goes to show how out of touch you are with with modern millennial eating and drinking habits #winewednesdays
25 likes 4

Can we all agree that finishing a bottle of wine, jar of Nutella, or pint of ice cream in one sitting isn't a big deal? At this point they might as well just state that that's the recommended serving size. Stop acting like you committed a cardinal sin for doing something that might as well be the norm. It's past cliche. If you have to tell someone that you're "so bad" because you just guzzled a small child's weight in drive through meals, it only goes to show how out of touch you are with with modern millennial eating and drinking habits #winewednesdays

March 2017
You thought the real world would be easier? Psych. Now you can go to graduate school to shelter yourself from the harsh reality that is real life. If you're still not ready after that... well that's what a PhD is for
10 likes 0

You thought the real world would be easier? Psych. Now you can go to graduate school to shelter yourself from the harsh reality that is real life. If you're still not ready after that... well that's what a PhD is for

March 2017
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